"So lonely inside,

So busy out there,

And all you wanted was somebody who cares."

Tears.

We all shed them. It's just a matter of whether it's of happiness, frustration, anger or sadness. How and why do tears come? That's something I haven't figured out til now; my guess is but a guess. I'm guessing that tears come when the truth strikes your heart so much. With such force, that even the strongest person can fall into the realm of pity, of tears, of love.

Tears aren't tangible. It's not a matter of how many times you cried, or for how many hours. It's for the reason why you are shedding your layers, one by one. The reason why you are showing the weak side of you to someone, for why you are breaking down and leaving the person in a mess of what to do. Sometimes we can't find the exact reason why we cry, sometimes it's a mixture of feelings that you can't understand nor comprehend. The first reaction that you think of would be to cry.

But how is it that some people cry easier than others? There are many reasons why, we cannot confirm that there is only one. Different people have different levels of stress they can take. Sometimes, it's because of disappointment. Disappointment to how much effort you put in but now receiving the least you could ask for. Other times, it's because of stress from other people.

But these are not reasons to cry. Disappointment; stress - stand up right back. Don't let them get you down. Two things you think might hurt the same isn't so simple. A cut on the hand and a cut on the heart isn't the same. I am already immune to superficial wounds - sprained ankles, cut fingers, scratched elbows, muscle tearing - I've already experienced the feeling of those wounds. And they have healed over time, no scars left behind.

But some things. Some things just won't heal, no matter how long I keep it, how deep I try to bury it, where I think it will be forgotten. These emotional wounds are those that will never heal, whether it's losing a loved one to another or to Lord; being hurt and betrayed by someone you trusted, or simply being told on. It's not about the scar that they leave; the consequences that you get, but rather the disappointment. The disappointment that your trust was misplaced, and things weren't as simple as you thought it was.

You keep believing that what you know is the truth, and life is so simple. It's just a one way ticket, no turning back, through birth, growing up, death. There are no more complications and what you see is what you get. But how many things can be ever so simple? Face up - this is life. Nothing is definite. It might turn out that someone you thought was trustworthy but it so turns out that he wasn't.

But it doesn't mean that you should pretend to be fine. Everyday I laugh, perhaps all the time. There aren't many occasions where I have the right place and moment to start thinking about how alone I am, and the many reasons for why I should cry. But it's hard not to think about it. Other than friends, I am pretty much left alone to survive in my life. I have at most 11 hours everyday to spend in school, where i have to put on a superficial smile to tell everyone that I am okay. The rest of the time, I still try to reassure everyone that I can do everything on my own, that I have no difficulties at all.

So why cry? Why cry for all these despicable homosapiens? It's not worth it to waste something you treasure over someone unwowrthy. Afterall, when the going gets tough; the tough gets going.

*Someone looking tough on the outside might not be so on the inside; someone with a sweet face might not be so on the inside either*