I found this amazing video(s) on youtube! You have to watch it!
Underneath Your Clothes - Shakira. She sang it her herself!
And this:
We Belong Together - Mariah Carey BLOODY REAL.
And this:
Unfaithful - Rihanna Besides the timing, it was really good.
Last one:
Irreplaceable - Beyonce.
Oh so she's on tour with Justin Timberlake now. Okay. I just realised that. She got talent scouted.
♥ Friday, June 29, 2007
Priscilla asked this question: Do you ever feel like giving up? Like sleeping and not waking up anymore?
I do. Every morning when my alarm rings I turn it off and go back to sleep and tell myself that I'm too tired to go to school, only to wake up a minute later and take a cold shower. I don't know why.
Normally, when I see this line at the start of a post, I cringe. I sigh, turn away, and then I write something on the tagboard to console that friend, and then I go on. For some time now I've been trying to avoid reading things like that. I can't handle them yet, because I know once I read things like that again everything will come back. Back to square one, back to square one. All those nights I spent in - what do you call it? - nostalgia. Self pity. My pillow wet with the tears I bled out, like rain. Seeking comfort in music, listening to the bass hitting at hundreds. Once, I was Miss Independent. But that was the past. The distant (i.e three years considering I am fourteen) past. Something I can never gain back. Some memories I cannot erase and avoid, unlike the posts I skipped. Now, I'm nothing like that. I'm nowhere near self actualisation, I'm nowhere near perfect, or even good. I'm below fair, I'm someone who doesn't achieve much. I am one name on the class list of 204. I am one name in the registry of Raffles Girls School. I am me. But that is enough. For now. That is enough for my mom, my dad. That is enough for my friends, enough for Lucy, Jess, April, Simmy, Monica, Sara. I am enough for you, Priscilla (or so I hope). And you are enough for me.
When you try so hard you can't try any harder but you don't succeed, you get tired. Everyone gets tired. Everyone gets exhausted. Everyone doubts themselves. It sucks (irony, I am eating simmy's cookies!) and it's hard to get over that. I know because I've been in that trap, but I'm lucky. I have someone to whisper me wise words of encouragement, to help me up when I fall, to assure me when I'm in doubt. She makes me feel that it's okay to not be a great perfect person, but to be someone with mistakes is okay and loved all the same. (yes thank you hunny bunny lol)
And similarly, my dear Pris, you don't need to be good. You don't even need to be average. You just need to be you. You can't challenge the grades because there's nothing higher than 4.0, but you can do your best, be it lower or higher than that (bloody) score. You, as you are now, are good enough for me. You don't have to finish everything (when do we ever do anyway?) and have no time to do anything else. I know if a teacher reads this I am so dead or something but I'm serious. Life is so much more than that. Look around you. Appreciate what you have. Love the people around you. Unlike books, they reciprocate. They give you hugs. They smile. They blog.
And now, I stand (virtually) before you to tell you that you're excellent. You're good. You can do it. I know you can. I don't know if I can but I don't want to, but you, you're different. You want it, and you can. No matter how many times you don't get support at home, I never do anyway, you can do it.
Quoted from hunny bunny, "I can help you, but you have to help me to help yourself."
GO MY LOVELY PRIS. I LOVE YOU!
You can because I read that post for you.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
♥ Sunday, June 24, 2007
"What time is it?" "7.30" "What time is it?" "7.31" "What time is it?" "7.32" "What time is it?" "7.33. Gone" "No Ma it's not an auction"
So the first part of it was with Yingting in her car after dinner. The auction part was after that when I got home. My mom is weird. So, the movie. It was funny, Surfs Up. Although James could not stop laughing about the six piece combo thing and Jess couldn't stop getting amused by the picture of Bob Maverick and the orca, and my brother would not stop playing Invisible Woman on Daniel's lap and Gerald and Jonathan did not get along very well. But otherwise I lived. Yeah Daniel, reminds me of the good old days don't you think? Where school was fun and less stressful and Saturdays were free and Science lessons were amusing! And everything was so much simpler. That was the good ole times! That was heaven! (Now it's plain freaking hell) Oh well. growing up sucks. Anyway have to attempt to do yuedubaogao lol bye.
Monday, June 18, 2007
♥ Monday, June 18, 2007
Okay, I need to ask you guys a question. What is the point of watching the golf US open when you know that Tiger Woods will win anyway? I mean, come on! Tiger Woods rocks. Okay. So I was watching Larry King live where Angelina Jolie was the guest because she wanted to speak for some reporter and I don't know the full story because three minutes later my brother took the remote and changed it (!@!#%!$#&@). But the truth is, if I have to take a stand between Aniston and Jolie .... I'd actually choose Jolie. I know that she might have a part to play in the divorce between Pitt and Aniston, but really; If Pitt didn't want to, he wouldn't have. So the fault, really, ends up with Pitt. And judging by the way she is a mother, and how she speaks about her children with such ease in that interview, I mean, I think she is a good mother. I think she pays attention to them, and she's not like some other stars who leave their children with caretakers, you know? Okay, I am not speaking to anyone.
A done deal. Kelly Clarkson is a very awesome singer. She has lungs! Go Kelly! I will buy the new cd!
A Moment Like This - Kelly Clarkson
What if I told you It was all meant to be Would you believe me, Would you agree It's almost that feelin' That we've met before So tell me that you don't think I'm crazy When I tell you love has come here and now
A moment like this Some people wait a lifetime, For a moment like this Some people search forever, For that one special kiss Oh, I can't believe it's happening to me Some people wait a lifetime, For a moment like this
Everything changes But beauty remains Something so tender I can't explain Well I maybe dreamin' But 'till I awake Can we make this dream last forever And I'll cherish all the love we share
For a moment like this Some people wait a lifetime, For a moment like this Some people search forever, For that one special kiss Oh, I can't believe it's happening to me Some people wait a lifetime, For a moment like this
Could this be the greatest love of all I wanna know that you will catch me when I fall So let me tell you this... Some people wait a lifetime
For a moment like this Some people spent two lifetimes, For a moment like this Some people search forever, For that one special kiss Oh, I can't believe it's happening to me Some people wait a lifetime, For a moment like this
Oh, like this
Oh, yeah, cause people search for every moment yeah.
Some people wait a lifetime, For a moment like this.
Oh, like this.
LOVE the video.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
♥ Saturday, June 16, 2007
I was going to post a lot but then I am tired and lazy and scared (stupid dracula!) and I found lovely songs!
So, the Friday Five (hoho!)
1) Songs! One is Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield (yes, the pantene advert song!!! dum dudum dum dudum) I know I'm terribly slow ot realise that YES IT IS A REAL SONG AND NOT JUST FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN because of pantene shampoo but that is not the point. Anyway:
I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned
Staring at the blank page before you Open up the dirty window Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance So close you can almost taste it Release your inhibitions Feel the rain on your skin No one else can feel it for you Only you can let it in No one else, no one else Can speak the words on your lips Drench yourself in words unspoken Live your life with arms wide open Today is where your book begins The rest is still unwritten
Oh, oh, oh
I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way
Staring at the blank page before you Open up the dirty window Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance So close you can almost taste it Release your inhibitions Feel the rain on your skin No one else can feel it for you Only you can let it in No one else, no one else Can speak the words on your lips Drench yourself in words unspoken Live your life with arms wide open Today is where your book begins
Feel the rain on your skin No one else can feel it for you Only you can let it in No one else, no one else Can speak the words on your lips Drench yourself in words unspoken Live your life with arms wide open Today is where your book begins The rest is still unwritten
And then the other is It's A Beautiful Thing by Tammin Sursok. I couldn't find it on radioblog though (rawr!) but you guys should really check it out.
Am I losing my mind You're everywhere and I don't know why Something I can't deny On and on like a song in my head And I can't do a thing about it
When your heart can't stop Like a runaway train And love walks in like a hurricane It's a beautiful thing
When it feels so good That you can't let go When you're so far gone Cos you couldn't say no It's a beautiful thing
I keep hearing your name It's in the sun and it's in the rain I just heard it again Don't know how it got into my head But I don't wanna be without it
When your heart can't stop Like a runaway train And it feels so good That you can't explain It's a beautiful thing
When you just can't do Without anything else And you give so much That you lose yourself It's a beautiful thing
Hope this feeling never goes away
When you lose your way Don't have a clue And you happen to find somebody like you It's a beautiful thing
When you're on the moon And you can't get down Just me and you No-one else around It's a beautiful thing
When your heart can't stop Like a runaway train And it feels like you've drunk a case of champagne It's a beautiful thing It's a beautiful thing.
2) I am in love with Step Up! You canNOT go wrong with Jenna Dewan and Channing Tatum and dance AND music, I mean, come ON! I have been replaying their final showcase on youtube, that freaking beautiful dance so hip and graceful and beautiful and WOW, am too lazy to embed, but: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hspU2aUMDwY&mode=related&search= You've got to love it.
3) My arms are burning - were burnt - red from the San Diego sun. I'm getting sunburn and it's red and tomatoish and it reminds me of (yet again) raw salmon! Either I'm hungry or craving or my hand is just salmon. Why are my arms in ny way damanged? Which brings me to the next point:
4) I went to sea world today! I saw Shamu and fell in love with Beluga Whales (they are officially my favourite animal!) and of course killer whales and we saw a walrus that has probably twnety seven thousand layers of fats, he was darn huge; and also polar bears and penguins (penguins!) and really cute pets (will elaborate some other time if remember but guess not) and hehe. Okay those aren't the point. I love Shamu! And Snowdrop(temp. name) my beluga whale doll (YES I HAVE A BELUGA WHALE DOLL i know, lame, but I couldn't resist) and the real beluga whales hold on let me try;
LOOOOOK! Very adorable.
5) The Spurs won championships! I know this is totally weird and random and no one knows I follow baskets but I just happened to catch it on TV and LeBron wasn't very good this time, I mean, he missed some really important shots I know no one is understanding what I'm saying so I'll pass.
Heh. My mouth is healing. And we are eating fast food almost every meal. That has to say something, right?
Monday, June 11, 2007
♥ Monday, June 11, 2007
It sucks to be a teenager these days. I was reading Daniel's blog who got inspired by another friend, about life. And when I was thinking, I found an answer. Sometimes, like when we're doing math sums, we have to find the answer. We use all kinds of ways - algebra, indices, whatsoever - to figure out that number, that certain expected response that's fixed, set, and leaves no other possibilities of another answer. It has to be that answer, and we try to find it. We look for it, everywhere, under every stone, inside every book, during every second, because we want to. We want a concrete, definite answer for every question, as if we could take that model answer and copy and paste it into the lines of the paper, and then pass it up and score with flying colours. There are people who strive to do this, for every question they're faced with, for every uncertainty they want to solve. They take the facts, merge it together, and use it altogether after analysis to answer a question, to give the model answer, in exact words and phrases, written down in ink on a piece of paper, or on the lines of a writing pad. That is why I suck at math. But some other things are different. Other things don't need a definition, they don't need an answer. They're left open-ended, for the readers to guess, interpret, assume, ponder, and then use their imagination and nature to give their answer, a different answer from another person's. Unlike the first, they can give you a thousand different answers to one question, yet all of them are correct, excellent, and most importantly, true. The people who are good at sums - they try to figure it all out, to find an answer, but they realise they can't. They can't paste their ideal answers into the paper, or the book, or the lines of their writing pad. They can't find that number, that word, that fixed definition or answer. But the second type of people. They don't try to find out. Because they understand that's the way it is. That's the way it's meant to be - left open ended, left to be interpreted, left for the person to define personally. There's no answer, because there are too many different answers to give, to offer, yet all them, one by one, rejected. Because the answer's meant to be blank, like a blank sheet of paper, left to be looked at from different angles, to be thought about; not to be written in the dictionary, or on test papers, nor said by anyone. Because that's the way it's meant to be. And that is my answer. To life, to questions asking why. I don't strive to look for some answers, because some answers aren't supposed to be found. They're there, you know they are, but silent, somewhere, but you don't know where. But it doesn't matter where, because they're there. Besides, there are too many answers you need to give, you can't answer every single one of them before you die. Yeah. Okay. I know that is not the point, you don't need to remind me Sara. It's just that, sometimes, life isn't what it always seems. Inside everyone's heart is a different definition for everything, and I mean, nothing is concrete. Ever. It's a temporary replacement, for something bigger, more profound, for something which no one has ever seen or understood. I'm not saying I've seen it, but I'm hoping I will see, at least, a part of it. I am not very smart, I cannot score a 4.0 GPA. I don't wish for much. Instead, I guess, I just want to see a part of it, a part of life, a part of the meaning of being someone. I just want to understand that little bit of life. I guess what I'm trying to say is that we shouldn't always try to find the answer. We might get too absorbed in doing so, and at the same time neglect what's really important, what's really indispensable. Some questions have no answers, and when you finally realise that it will be a waste of time. By then, it'd be too late.
On a lighter note :D Dinner was very amusing. We ordered SO MUCH FOOD oh my God, the snow peas alone were like, what, THREE KG?! We had a hard time eating all of that which wasn't really very delicious although I usually like it, and when I was starting on my third serving of snow peas I was going all "Mommy I feel like a cow" and mooing everywhere until we couldn't stop laughing. Of course, as an added craziness I afterwards dumped my (fourth) plate of snow peas into the corn soup which made my mom raise an eyebrow and start laughing horribly, but I finished it anyway. I STILL FEEL LIKE A COW. MOO.
Well. Am going to entertain myself now. Bye you all!
Thursday, June 07, 2007
♥ Thursday, June 07, 2007
Don't Write Me Off Just Yet - Hugh Grant It's never been easy for me to find the words To go along with the melody But this time there's actually something on my mind So please forgive these few brief awkward lines
Since I met you my whole life has changed It's not just my furniture you've rearranged I was living in the past but Somehow you've brought me back And I haven't felt like this Since before Frankie said "Relax" And now I know based on my track record I might not seem like the safest bet
All I'm asking you is Don't write me off just yet
For years I've been telling myself the same old story That I'm happy to live off my so-called former glories But you've given me a reason To take another chance Now I need you despite the fact that You've killed all my plants! And now I know I've already blown more chances Than anyone should ever get
All I'm asking you is Don't write me off just yet.
Don't write me off just yet .
Way Back Into Love - Hugh Grant I've been living with a shadow overhead I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed I've been lonely for so long Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on
I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away Just in case I ever need em again someday I've been setting aside time To clear a little space in the corners of my mind
All I want to do is find a way back into love I can't make it through without a way back into love
I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine I've been searching but I just don't see the signs I know that it's out there There's got to be something for my soul somewhere
I've been looking for someone to shed some light Not somebody just to get me throught the night I could use some direction And I'm open to your suggestions
All I want to do is find a way back into love I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end
There are moments when I don't know if it's real Or if anybody feels the way I feel I need inspiration Not just another negotiation
All I want to do is find a way back into love I can't make it through without a way back into love And if I open my heart to you I'm hoping you'll show me what to do And if you help me to start again You know that I'll be there for you in the end
Music & Lyrics is the love! And agree with me, Hugh Grant is hot for 46.
♥ Thursday, June 07, 2007
I am never taking United Airlines ever again! I'm finally in SF and the weather is good. It's like in the fifties down here which means it's about 13C or so, and Singapore is like, 31. Right. However weather has contributed to swollen and VERY red lips which is not very normal and not very good, and the first layer of lip skin has (!!!!!) peeled off and it's like a piece of raw salmon (!!!!!!!!!) which isn't very normal and not very good either. It's really really dry so I've been eating ramen for our first two meals. Take that. Ramen in SF when I could get some CARL'S JR BURGERS and JACKINTHEBOX is like, TEN METRES AWAY FROM MY HOTEL. Oh yeah my hotel. I FEEL LIKE I'M LIVING IN MIDIEVAL TIMES WHERE COWBOYS AND HOBO HAIRSTYLES WERE COOL. Though yeah the hotel is in a good location but look at their phones at the lobby! They have the old black phones where you have to TURN to numbers you know those ones? Not the dial it's more of ROLL. And the room is just. Yeah, you don't really need to know, but I'll do pictures. You should stop laughing after ten minutes. If you don't please do mankind a favour and go to the doctor. Anyway. Where was I? Yeah the plane ride was horrible! Plain terrible except that I watched Music and Lyrics AND Catch and Release (I am not sure if this is NC but who cares I've watched it anyway) AND Bridge to Terabithia AGAIN (and cried AGAIN) on the plane. Very inspiring, will think about them all trip and probably watch on youtube again and talk about it. That was some part of the 16 hours, the others were spent asking brother to shut up cause he couldn't stop talking.
My lips are still hurting! Very horrible! I am very pissed! I want my fried food! My Ghirardelli CaramelFilled Chocolates! Tomorrow we are probably renting a car and going to the bridge and twin peaks and stuff like that. Have been visiting Walmart Walgreen Target and all other convenience stores for lip balm FOR PEELED LIPS but apparently raw-salmon-looking -like lips have no treatment except for Vit B and C as said by the pharmacist with weird hair so I guess I'll follow anyway. Cannot wait to rent the darn car! I need to take pictures of the city (requests by Daniel) and make a lot a lot of notes for the book which is supposed to be set somewhere near San Francisco. The starbucks here, however, aren't as nice as Singapore ones. I finally see what you mean, Monica.
My dad totally cannot stand the cold. When we were walking the three streets to the other Japanese restaurant for dinner he was wearing like, 3 sweaters while I was wearing like, ONE thin jacket and he was telling me to wear more when I was perfectly fine. Hard to imagine how he ever LIVED here for some years, I mean, how can he ever see snow?!?! Actually wanted to go to different places this time to fill up my travel destinations, but too hard to resist the places I've been to so anyway yeah. I realise that I'm blabbering and not making much sense but that's okay cause no one reads my blog anyway and I didn't bring my diary (damn it) so I can only blog so forgive me :D
Okay going to start on my story so bye! Sarah email me details!
Saturday, June 02, 2007
♥ Saturday, June 02, 2007
Sometimes it's unbelievable I have a completely different life back here in Jakarta. I find it hard to believe myself. Where I am settles it all; once I step out of the plane it's as if I become a completely different person living a different life not mine, without school and without deadlines. I mean, there are vasts differences to the lives I lead in two places. In Singapore I'm the kid who does her own housework and cleans her own toilet. In Jakarta I'm the kid who has a chauffeur. Last week while I was talking to my mom she was all, "Oh we have a new chauffeur for the BMW! Now we have two chauffeurs so one can send me everywhere else while dad uses the other one!" and I'm like, "We have a DRIVER?!" After two seconds I remembered our driver who's been working for us since I was what, one? Another time my mom went, "Today there was this singer who came to the shop today, and your dad was all 'look honey there's Baim Wong!'" and I was like "We own a shop Baim Wong would come to. We do?" Apparently the recurring reminders from my dad about our apple store does not register into my brain.
See, things like that. They drive me crazy. They mock my short term memory. Things are different here. We have three cars (a toyota, a kijang and a BMW), two drivers, six (soon to be seven) shops and the exclusive authorisation to resell Apple products. We have two TVs, a laptop each person and two housekeepers. Not to mention people who study in Singapore are the envy of everyone. It gets frustrating. Very frustrating. How I'm able to switch myself to both situations are beyond me.
And yet it makes me realise something. Everyone has different worries. The students have their homework, the housekeepers have their housework, the homemakers have their kids, the husbands have their jobs, the drivers have their cars, the lawyers have their cases, the doctors have their patients. The rich kids have their freedom to worry about, the poor kids have their wants to worry about. And that's what the story I'm sharing with Sarah is going to be about. Rich Kid, Poor Kid. :D Okay random.
So what you see Is only half the story There's another side of me I'm the girl you know But I'm someone else too If you only knew
It's a crazy life But I'm alright
I got everything I've always wanted Living the dream So yeah, everything I've always wanted isn't always what it seems I'm a lucky girl Whose dreams came true But underneath it all I'm just like you
Don't wanna be treated differently I wanna keep it all inside Half the time I've got my name in lights The other half I'm by your side
It's a crazy life But I'm just fine
I got everything I've always wanted Living the dream So yeah, everything I've always wanted isn't always what it seems I'm a lucky girl Whose dreams came true But underneath it all I'm just like you
Can't you see I'm just an ordinary girl Living in an extra-ordinary world Trying to live Trying to learn Trying to just be who I am Who I am
I got everything I've always wanted Living the dream So yeah, everything I've always wanted isn't always what it seems I'm a lucky girl Whose dreams came true But underneath it all I'm just like you
Sometimes, children's music can be inspiring too. Go Miley Cyrus! Let's strive to be ordinary girls.
& ABOUT
i’m jessica
but you can call me jem
210693
fifteen
rvian
rafflesian
sph
nygbs
rgge
loves Jesus,
jessica tan,
netball,
gilmore girls,
fridays,
english,
guitars,
blue,
jack johnson,
and her latest craze john mayer
