I am so scared, I am scared shitless.

I don't know what to do and I don't have the right words to say, I am not your best friend but I don't know if I'm more than that, I don't want to ask you because you don't need that right now, you need a strong independent selfless girl and I need to be that for you, and us, and myself, because otherwise I might lose you, and start losing my mind.

I don't know much about your condition as much as she does, I can't help you as much as she does, I don't know if I should worry about that fact because I want to be the one to help you but I just really don't know what to do. I am scared of saying the wrong things and doing the wrong things and making it worse than it already is. I am scared of losing you to something like that. And I am scared of losing you to her.

I really want to help you. I really want to do everything I can to help you and put a smile on your face and I am going to try my best, but I can't if you won't start. I told you we are in this together and that I am not ever going to leave you to be alone and fight this alone, I've told you everything that I can but maybe that isn't what you want to hear, but I don't know what is it that you want to hear, I just need you to tell me what to do but I can't ask you to do that when you can't do that for yourself either.

But I just can't stand by and watch myself losing you as every minute passes. Because you already have my heart and it is going with you no matter where you go.