Saturday, August 23, 2008
♥ Saturday, August 23, 2008
How come it's all coming back to me again?
Yesterday I was on cloud nine and today it feels like yesterday never happened.
You can take away a part of me, until there's a gaping hole right in the centre of my soul, and watch the blood leak out, but it'll never stop.
Or you could take my heart and break it, but it won't hurt as much as it did.
Because it's not an ordinary pain, not something anyone can make.
Sometimes I really want to tell everyone I once had you, but I can't mention your name without feeling something take hold of me and squeeze me so tight I can't breathe. So I don't.
We have so many more funny stories to make, but you left before I could tell you anything. Before we could make any of them.
I really really miss you and I don't know what to do about it. I guess one of us must be in the wrong place and sometimes I wish I could go to where you are because I would be free and happy without worries, but there's the problem if I'll ever go there at all. I know you're there because you did no wrong and when I close my eyes I see you, I hear you panting like there's no tomorrow, I see you snuggle to somebody else. I know you're there, I just hope you know I'm still here.
I want you to visit, but I don't. I wonder why it took so long for me to see that I can't live without you, because I've been living my moments knowing nothing about what I want. I don't understand how I've lived so blindly letting each day take me and never led it, I'm not worth your following, but you did, and I really don't know why.
It isn't making sense, but it does to me.
At least in my head, because it can see my heart, shattered with remains of the glue that tried to hold it together, but never worked.
So tell me, how do I live without you?
Monday, August 18, 2008
♥ Monday, August 18, 2008
Hancock.
Live to keep her alive, leave to see her happy. It all makes sense now, even if you're meant to be together.
Now what?
Friday, August 15, 2008
♥ Friday, August 15, 2008
I'm really tired.
I think I need to put an end to everything. Stop it right now.
And that's what I'm going to do because I can do it.
I know I can :D
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
♥ Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Wow.
I never knew.
Thanks for letting me know.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
♥ Sunday, August 10, 2008
How can you dream of something so real, to hear his voice and feel his touch, to feel his warmth on your skin, and his breath hot on your ears?
How can you reach out for his hand in your dream and then feel it envelop yours?
How can you ask him something and have him tell you what you need to know?
Why are they sometimes true?
How can dreams feel so real, so perfect, how can they stay in one moment forever, how can they make me feel like the most important girl in the world?
And afterwards, how can all of it go away just because you've gone back to reality?
How can it be so real, so real, when it's not.
Is it me wanting something I don't have, or wanting something I could? Is it a sign to tell me what to do or purely my imagination?
I don't know.
I guess I'm a little late, you're already gone.
And I'm already torn.
Saturday, August 09, 2008
♥ Saturday, August 09, 2008
I don't know what you think, but I hope you know.
I'm not perfect anymore.
Sunday, August 03, 2008
♥ Sunday, August 03, 2008
You know I wish there was another me.
Another me to listen to rather than my heart because sometimes it's more convincing to hear it from someone else, don't you think?
These few words, I can't get out of my chest, cause everytime I do I can't find the words to speak.
Another me to turn to to cry, knowing without a doubt that he understands and knows me completely. Longing for something like that, someone understand without having me to say anything, someone to stretch out his hand and reach out to my heart, feel that endless gaping need for someone to bring me back to life.
I don't even understand myself sometimes. I'm not supposed to be like this.
But it stays. I still need another me. To sit endlessly on the other end of the computer and listen to me pour out my soul. To sit quietly across the table and feel the pain piercing their every cell. To give me a pat on the back, a hug to make things okay. Grab a cup of coffee just to see a smile. Sit by the lockers just to be there if I were to ever cry. Another me to give me some advice I've heard to hear all over again if that were just to make me sure of what to do.
I need a Ceri.
I don't need to be her.
♥ Sunday, August 03, 2008
I'm on my guitar and it's friday.
Two words that brings me closer to heaven, lol.
But then. I somehow can't tune my guitar. Cause all my strings are old and they're in need of death so yup that meanssss I need to change my strings I'll gladly add that to my wishlist haha I need new acoustic and classical strings! YUP ALL TWELVE OF EM. MWAHHAHA.
Leo's birthday is on mondayyyyy. I already know what to give him ;DD
I have two planners. I woke up this morning on a hardworking spree and started rearranging all my files and coming up with todo and tobuy lists (wow) so today i got my files ;D
But then as the night wore on and I started working for my mom i.e distributing wages I got tired and lazy. And then we went bowling and from then my hardworking spree went downhill! Now I am on facebook and too lazy to get to work on my PP journals and my woodtech stuff.
BUT AT LEAST I GOT THE FILES AND THE OTHER STUFF.
Other stuff i.e no stuff.
HAHAHAHA.
But i've got a lil time for self denial so I'll just enjoy my night away... you too, sweet as.
Sweet dreams and sleep tight - Lullaby, Dear Juliet.
