JOB
Sunday, October 01, 2006
♥ Sunday, October 01, 2006
Sometimes, sometimes, sometimes. It's always sometimes, and it's just those sometimes, when I get frustrated enough that I actually feel the loneliness. And sometimes, the loneliness makes me think, makes me look for something to fill up the hollowness in me, makes me long for someone to save me.
But in his eyes. This loneliness isn't loneliness. This loneliness is something that has replaced him in my heart, from a friend to a father. This loneliness, this childish innocence of mine, this longing for a father's love, has disappeared, along with the years of adolescence, of independence. This yearn to seek protection, from my young man, has disappeared, along with his traces of moustaches.
And maybe it is this feeling of his, this misunderstanding of his, that brings him to force me to do certain things I can't understand. A job is for life, although perhaps I agree that I haven't done anything significant for him. It isn't appropriate to make me, force me, not to say, to enter an industry I don't like nor enjoy doing.
I tried to tell him. I tried, but he wouldn't listen. Because apparently the conversation went something like this:
Me: Dad, what IF I want to consider taking another major in U which isn't Finance.
Dad: What are you interested in?
Me: I don't know, maybe psychology?
Dad: What's so good about psychology? It deals with all the psycho and paranoid people.
Me: It helps people. I've always wanted to do something to help others.
Dad: But you know the computer business can earn you multi-million dollars you know?
So you see? He apparently isn't going to agree on anything else. Because apparently my Dad has nothing in mind for me besides taking over his business, something I'm not interested in, something I'm not good in either. He doesn't have any idea how much torture Math is causing me, and he wants me to major in finance. He doesn't understand how I feel when I'm faced with figures, figures and nothing but figures.
But I guess that will only matter when I have a nervous breakdown while majoring Finance. By then he'll have to fly all the way to San Francisco to get me to a psychologist, where he'll understand how much psychologists can help others with nervous breakdowns.
Because apparently, he still doesn't understand.
