death and me
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
♥ Wednesday, February 21, 2007
I'm not afraid to die.
I suppose not only I have thought about death; where we die, why we die, when we die. Undoubtly, there comes a time when we all have to be buried under soil, our only companion a stone, or if we're lucky, a rose. And of course, everyone fears that day to come. Everyone wants to run away from the angel of death, and continue living their lives and never die. Everyone wishes for immortality.
Although, of course, there are disadvantages to death - no doubt - there are advantages too. I'm not saying that you should go to the casino now, run up a huge pile of debts and then jump down the building. That is an act of utmost stupidity and shame, not to mention cowardly. I'm saying, that death can bring you free of troubles, as well as those around you, who love you. It's not easy to know whether living is the right decision to choose sometimes; from the stress, from the complications, and from everything else that comes your way.
A year ago I might have said that death is a scary thing. But after the loss of some people close to me, after the absence of some people I thought I couldn't live without - death is nothing but a momentarily absence from the world, and they will be reunited through death in the afterlife. Death is something that comes and goes, like the wind, it blows and then it's a breeze, and then it dies down. It is the same with death and grief, no? The wind and all its greatness that can be counted upon to bring relief, as with death; The wind will die down, the grief will settle as that dust would, and the living would continue living the life they were, a person less.
People live for different reasons. For the businessmen, it's the money; for the independent. it's themselves; for the lucky, it's their loved ones. But when you're faced with the cliff of death, you forget about the money. You forget about the independence. You take away the love but you die anyway, because miracles don't happen. When you die, you just die. What happens afterwards is none of your choice.
I live for the people who would rather die to see me die. Sadly, I'm not an independent, I'm not a businesswoman - I purely live for the people who love me, for the day where true love will come and take me away, from the troubles of the world, and all its mercenary purposes. I live for those who think that they'd rather take my place when I die. I live for my family and friends, and the love they give me each and every single second, to keep me going.
I do not believe in any God. Not yet, at least. Maybe in the future I will, but not now. I don't have any idea what happens after I die, but I choose to believe in stories, that I will be up in the sky shining as a star, to tell all the people I love that I love them so. It doesn't seem right, but until the day I die, I'll believe in that, because I believe that true love exists, somewhere out there, and every one of us can find it if we try hard enough, if we believe hard enough.
And that someday, true love will come unto each and single one of us, and make us feel like the most blessed person in the whole wide world.
