Wednesday, April 18, 2007
♥ Wednesday, April 18, 2007
SYF is tomorrow, and I am feeling it.
The stress, the music, and the love that all the members of RGE'06 and '07 has for us and for the instrument we all love.
Our guitars, the ones who have brought us through hell practices, the ones who've made some of us pluck out strands and strand of hair at times, the ones whom we love and cherish so for all that it's worth, the ones who I give names to.
I don't know if I'm ready yet, but I know Chocolate is. I recognise that much strength and I have that much faith in that strength of my guitar. I know her strings feel like snapping altogether already, after those hours of practices and the tension, and the stress. But I know that she'll keep holding on.
Cause she knows we'll make it through and she wants to be there with us all through tomorrow. She wants to let me play the pieces which she probably has memorised it by now, and fingering along with me as I do the rest strokes, free strokes, strumming, tremolo-ing and whacking on the strings. She'd probably complain by now if she could, and I take that much pride in telling everyone that 'that's my guitar and her name is Chocolate', and I wouldn't trade anything for her. Even if one day she breaks apart, throwing her away is not an option.
I'm playing her for her tomorrow.
And the people. April, Pris, Simmy, and all of RGE, all the people who take SYF as though it was their life, from the seniors who taught me the songs (Ying Jie, Dora, Gracia, not forgetting Yufang) to the batchmates who have worked and sweated and blistered and moulted (yes, MOULTED) the skin on their fingers, to the seniors who so hardworkingly scrutinised and memorised the pieces, to Ms Ong for coming down to watch us, to Mr Chua's efforts and hard work; that feeling of gratefulness will never leave me.
And today, to Ms Sylvia Khoo for brava-ing us, and the pep talk from the chairpersons and yingjie and zhengpei, and the small audiences at the mini-amphi. To Bucket and Kevin and Monica for all their love and life and support, and my dad for always being there for me, and my mom who so fervently wished me good luck.
All these people bring me confidence, and adding up to the confidence I have in Chocolate and myself, it can just do wonders. It can make me memorise all the notes and play it on without even thinking, it can make me sing the pieces in the bathroom, or the ladies, or the bus, everywhere. It can make me practice for hours without caring about moulting, or how much homework I have on hand, or whether people are waiting for me.
I get lost in the sound of Chocolate, of music, of the music that brought us all together.
Everytime I play La or Mozart I think of the conversationalists. About yesterday's fight, about the crying, about the movie marathons and each recess. And I realise that I love them more, much more than I thought I did. On the verge of losing two best friends yesterday was a good lesson. It let me feel that much of hurt the other was feeling; I don't know why I cried, I was seeing Pris cry and then April was cring so heartbreakingly and she was saying something and I just started crying, I wanted everything to be okay again and I wanted them to understand that it's not just them who are heartbroken - I was too. I wanted them to know that I know what it's like to be on sucky terms with their best friends, and I wanted them to know that I felt it too.
And well, Simmy just cried after I started crying, and we were a mass of crying people. Okay, only four. And I would really, really, really love to say thanks to Xiner and Zhengpei and Liting as well as Wenyan, for yesterday. Really, I don't think we could have lived, I wouldn't stop crying, and if I didn't Simmy probly wouldn't have either.
Aw, Simmy was hilarious.
Anyway, my point is, that I love Raffles Girls School Guitar Ensemble 2007. I love each and everyone of the members, even if they're not participating in SYF, or anything like that, but I just love them for being part of RGGE.
I have faith in Chocolate, and I know she'll do me proud.
I'll be playing for y'all tomorrow.
