oh, cause you won't listen

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

♥ Tuesday, October 16, 2007

When destiny calls you
You must be strong

When you slump into your bed with the fatigue of the day, the incessant chanting of "sleep, sleep, sleep" in your head; when your head touches the sweet velvet of your pillow, urging you to drift off to dreamland; when you put your arms around your bolster, a hundred teddy bears and winnie the poohs around you, willing you to slumberland. What is it that you think about - who is it? What is the last image you picture at the tip of your eyelids, who is it that you see? What is the last word you hear, what's the song that lulls you away, into your strawberry land, your haven?

I may not be with you
But you've got to hold on

Have you ever noticed, have you ever tried to listen, to see, to feel?

Maybe it's that pile of work you haven't finished. You think about your work, and then you see it, on your desk, motioning for you with its devillish claws, its fingers drawing you closer, inch by inch. You hear the seductive voices of the papers, telling you to "do me, do me, finish it". Perhaps, it's your parents who came by to cover you with a blanket, who just whispered goodnight, turning off the lights as they walk out of the room, smiling and pausing before closing the door behind them. You hear their voices floating in the air, hear their voices filling your head.

They'll see in time
I know
We'll show them together

Surprisingly, as I was there ten minutes ago on my mattress, staring up at the ceiling, it was neither. I would have thought of the second, but it wasn't. Somehow, it'd been replaced by someone else, but I never thought that you'd be the one to take their place.

My arms will hold you,
keep you safe and warm

As I sat by my window this afternoon, hearing the sound of the wind against the glass, the rustling of the leaves of the trees beneath, the rain hitting against my skin, unknowingly, you came into my sight, you crept into my mind. You fell from the sky as water from dreamland's clouds, and brought yourself into the very pores of my skin, the very blood of me, to be the thought that brought me day and night.

This bond between us
Can't be broken

You were the sun that brought me light, that banished the cold and hollow night away. You were the trees that brought me shelter in the rain, that shielded me from the storms when it poured. You were the grass that lay with me in the summer's day, that was all around me, breaking my fall. You were the flowers that bloomed for me, that brought me the scents of life. You were the moon at night, that brought hope to the darkness, that cracked through slits in broken walls, that gave me strength to carry on. You were so many things all at once, and I lived for you.

I will be here
Don't you cry

You made me bloom, gave me hope, blessed upon me love, and for that I thank you most of all. You made me feel the true mercy of life, you gave me faith to keep holding on. You left me feeling blessed, alive, and most of all, in love. With each day, I love you just a little more, and I know that eventually I'll love you as much as you do. You made me understand that that true mercy of life, in fact, was love itself.

Yet for the same reason I am bound to repel against you, because I am afraid of what the future might bring. If each day made me fall a little more in love with you, then I think today should be the end of this mutuality. Because by another six months I'd have to pull myself away, to drag my heart along with me, because it'd be too heavy, too heavy, to leave without you. It's not going to be easy, but nobody said it was, and I have to choose this way. I have no reason to offer you, I have no way to ever repay your love, except to have loved you in return.

But do not leave without this, because:
''You'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on,
Now and forever more."

Okay this doens't apply to me, really. It's actually experimental writing, to feel what soebody else might be feeling. I was by my window and I saw this guy walking alone on the road, and I was just thinking.. oh well.

Try it. The window, I mean. It's cool.