Thursday, November 08, 2007
♥ Thursday, November 08, 2007
I hate it when I don't even know what I'm feeling.
I hate people reeling me in and then casting me back out again.
I hate that my heart's so full I'm not even hungry anymore and then i don't even eat.
I hate it that I won't tell other people what I really feel because I'm afraid of what's after.
I hate rules that I have to follow and when I break them the hypocrites who tell me that there are second chances punish me.
I hate that I have to be nice and say okay to everything because saying no sucks.
I hate it that my room is so plainly white.
I hate everything that makes me feel so mellow, so miserable. I'm dying because of one person, and I hate that because I'm supposed to be me, and I'm supposed to love myself regardless of what others think. But I'm dizzy and the world is spinning and everyone is leaving me just when I need them most, and that's just plain shit I feel like grabbing someone's neck and pressing down really really hard. I feel so out I want to hurt myself because I just want to see myself being hurt so I have a reason to cry.
I want to cry and I want people to see me cry because I don't want to hide anymore I want people to see how I am when I'm crashing really bad so that they'll think twice about hurting me again because I can't take hurt anymore.
I'm selfish and I hate being selfish.
I hate everything that I am because I'm not supposed to be selfish and unkind and upset but no one understands that I can't help it because I'm alone.
My arms hurt and my body hurts and everything hurts and I feel like ending everything all at once but I keep thinking that I'm going to miss out on something that makes life beautiful but I'm losing faith quick and no one's listening.
I'm sittin' here in the boring room
It's just another rainy sunday afternoon
I'm wasting my time, I got nothing to do
I'm hanging around, I'm waiting for you
But nothing ever happens and I wonder
I'm driving around in my car
I'm driving too fast, I'm driving too far
I'd like to change my point of view
I feel so lonely I'm waiting for you
But nothing ever happens and I wonder
I wonder how, I wonder why
Yesterday you told me 'bout the blue, blue sky
And all that I can see is just a yellow lemon tree
I'm turning my head up and down
I'm turning, turning, turning, turning, turning around
And all that I can see is just another lemon tree
I'm sittin' here, I miss the power
I'd like to go out, taking a shower
But there's a heavy cloud inside my head
I feel so tired, put myself into bed
Well nothing ever happens, and I wonder
Isolation, is not good for me
Isolation, I don't want to sit on the lemon tree
I'm stepping around in the desert of joy
Maybe anyhow I get another toy
And everything will happen, and you wonder I wonder how, I wonder why
Yesterday you told me 'bout the blue, blue sky
And all that I can see is just another lemon tree
I'm turning my head up and down
I'm turning, turning, turning, turning, turning around
And all that I can see is just a yellow lemon tree
And I wonder, wonder
I wonder how, I wonder why
Yesterday you told me 'bout the blue, blue sky
And all that I can see, and all that I can see
And all that I can see is just a yellow lemon tree
