Saturday, February 02, 2008
♥ Saturday, February 02, 2008
Hey.
I am sad to report, that that is all I have to say.
Things are so complicated that I have no idea what's going on. No idea how I'm feeling. I think I just feel like I did something wrong, like I could have done something but didn't. Like I did something wrong, but I still wanna do it again.
Gosh, I can't believe it.
I actually have a lot of homework. All Bahasa stuff, and english and bible and I am tired today is saturday and I wasted the day away. I feel so guilty I've taken time for granted -
OH MY GOSH I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST SAID THAT.
DID YOU HEAR THAT?! I SAID THAT BRINGING BABE TO THE SALON AND PLAYING TIMEZONE AND ENJOYING EVERY MOMENT IT IS TAKING TIME FOR GRANTED OHHH MYYY GODDDD.
WHAT IN THE WORLD IS HAPPENING TO ME!?!?!??!
The perfectionista streak is reaching my brain.
Oh yeah, today I was supposed to get my braces, but the doctor said he's gonna do it on tuesday instead, and now I have three rubber thingies stuck in between my teeth, which sucks, because apart from my dracula fangs I have perfectly fine teeth which means that now they're trying to create space between my teeth when they are perfectly straight and together, how is that fun and unhurting?
Unhurting is not a word.
I feel unloved. I want to cry. I want to cry with Jess who also wants to cry.
Everybody wants to cry these days, being a teenager is not easy.
I think I want to grow up and own a car and road trip from San Francisco to New York, sleeping in the car, eating jack in the box and taco bell for the rest of my life. I want to die early. I need to read the bible.
I am going crazy. This is insane. Everything is insane I have to keep sane but how can I be sane when enjoying time in this world is classified as wasting time!!!
I am not normal.
Sometimes, when you think too much about something, the feelings get more intense, you either love or hate more, or you regret, you get thankful. But otherwise, we shouldn't think too much about anything, cause the more you do, the more you hope, and the more you get disappointed because it didn't turn out the way you wanted it to be.
I don't like hope. Hope makes me sad.
I'm going to go. My pre-braces hurt insanely.
