Wednesday, March 19, 2008
♥ Wednesday, March 19, 2008
SCHOOL'S OUT, SCREAM SHOUT!Good to be chilling out ;D
Yay! Today was the last day of school for this term and once the bell rang Gaby and I were soooo happy we hugged!
After school there was a humongous jam on the road, so we got stuck at the mall. Which was a good thing, actually, cause my mother has a shopping date with me!
So we literally shopped til we dropped, I even found a party gown that's black and is pretty flattering - and it's a lil over the knee so that's perfect length, for me!
Today is an amazing, amazing day. Mostly because I found the dress (have you ANY idea how hard it is to find a short, elegant, flattering on the tummyfat and formal dress?!) but also because WE FINISHED OUR BS PROJECT which means we have successfully COMPOSED a song and recorded it (:
You have no idea how happy I am.
But then, too, another bout of depression.
Sometimes I don't know. I have no idea what I'm doing, sometimes I feel that catch in my breath when I hear your name, sometimes when I lie awake at night I'd always be thinking if I just craned my neck out the door and looked, right now, you'd be there waiting for me, poised, awake, waiting for me.
But you're not.
And today as I reread my dedications for the book review in the car I just sat there and remembered. Thought. Of me writing that few paragraphs which pretty much summed up the connection between us, thinking that could encompass it but it didn't. That pang in my chest, the lump in my throat, the stab of a knife so deep no amount of medicine can heal - it may sound corny, stupid, but it seems so true, so true.
I don't know how long more this is gonna take man.
It's as if I'm expecting you to just turn up one day, back where I'd find you lying asleep, watching your chest rise and fall - it's as if I've been thinking this has all been a dream, a holiday for you, like you'll finally turn up again one day, that you're just gone for now but not forever.
But I know I can't hang on forever.
But you are. and I'm stupid to have not realised that, but I can't help it, I can't help it Babe.
I'm hungry. I'ma go find food.
Good luck to all SG people, work hard but don't burn your brains please leave some for my visit (:
And course, PH, happy holidays (:
Can't wait for Singapore, on saturday. Need that desperately and priscilla.
Oh yeah.
Happy birthday honey. I'd love you forever if I could ;D
