Yesterday I was on cloud nine and today it feels like yesterday never happened.

You can take away a part of me, until there's a gaping hole right in the centre of my soul, and watch the blood leak out, but it'll never stop.

Or you could take my heart and break it, but it won't hurt as much as it did.

Because it's not an ordinary pain, not something anyone can make.

Sometimes I really want to tell everyone I once had you, but I can't mention your name without feeling something take hold of me and squeeze me so tight I can't breathe. So I don't.

We have so many more funny stories to make, but you left before I could tell you anything. Before we could make any of them.

I really really miss you and I don't know what to do about it. I guess one of us must be in the wrong place and sometimes I wish I could go to where you are because I would be free and happy without worries, but there's the problem if I'll ever go there at all. I know you're there because you did no wrong and when I close my eyes I see you, I hear you panting like there's no tomorrow, I see you snuggle to somebody else. I know you're there, I just hope you know I'm still here.

I want you to visit, but I don't. I wonder why it took so long for me to see that I can't live without you, because I've been living my moments knowing nothing about what I want. I don't understand how I've lived so blindly letting each day take me and never led it, I'm not worth your following, but you did, and I really don't know why.

It isn't making sense, but it does to me.

At least in my head, because it can see my heart, shattered with remains of the glue that tried to hold it together, but never worked. 

So tell me, how do I live without you?