Friends help friends clean up their messes. They pick up the dirt and throw it into the trashcan. Friends don't judge. They don't tell you it's okay but secretly in their mind think that you're an ass. They know what you did was wrong and they'll tell you when you can handle it but they won't if that's what you need to know. They don't tell your secrets around, they don't tell other people what you don't want other people to know. They don't ignore you, and they don't ignore you when you ignore them.

Every friend is different. Bad things can happen sometimes and people can tell other people sometimes and break the friendship code. Friends sometimes lie and friends sometimes gossip behind your back and stab you then. But after all that they've told you how can you not trust them? Is there even a friendship without that amount of trust? You don't trust me. At all. I'm not the kind of girl who can live with talking bad about you and then smile in front of you and tell you that you're ma good friend. Cause I'm not that kind of person.

How am I supposed to let you know?

That when people ask about you I tell them you're okay. And that when they think what you do is wrong I tell them that we can't judge people like that, especially friends. How do I tell you that you make me smile even though you make the people around me hurt so bad they need to tell me? That sometimes it gets to me when I'm picking up the dirt and I don't want to tell you about it because it would be mean. How do I tell you that I'm not that kind of friend you pass in the corridors and say hi to and forget three months later? That I don't backstab you and tell your secrets to all the world to see.

I want to tell you so many things but I don't. What we've been saying is a friendship isn't one beyond the laughs and the inside jokes and the funny stories and the work. You don't tell me what's going wrong and then expect me to smile and be happy that I know nothing about you. And then you come and get mad at me for not knowing anything about you and for trying to clean up your mess. I know you're frustrated and I'll be your punching bag if you need to, just tell me why you're punching me and I'll gladly let you do it.

Tell me what you think so I can help you.